


now that i see you

by casualdisaster



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: 179 SPOILERS, Canon Asexual Character, M/M, Oscar Wilde Is Fine (Rusty Quill Gaming), You decide!, i am emotional and so is zolf, i have so many feelings and dont have the vocab so have this, its just pure soft zolf, qpr zoscar or romantic zoscar, this is just soft, zolf has feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualdisaster/pseuds/casualdisaster
Summary: 179 SPOILERS!They sit down for breakfast, and Zolf can't help noticing the changes in Wilde. All of them positive, of course.
Relationships: Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde
Comments: 28
Kudos: 77





	now that i see you

**Author's Note:**

> this episode gave me a crisis over what romantic attraction actually is, so ty RQG for THAT.
> 
> but whatever, zolf and oscar are LIFE PARTNERS and they LOVE EACH OTHER and honestly im just decimated

As they sit together at breakfast, on a bench in the bunkhouse dining room, Zolf pretends - for Wilde's sake more than anything - not to notice the changes.

He pretends not to notice the muted colours in Wilde's clothes, or the way Wilde smiles, finally at ease, or how he lets conversation flow around him like water, taking it in instead of dominating it. He also pretends not to notice how much closer to him Wilde is sitting; an arm that occasionally brushes up against his shoulder, a laugh that tips Wilde's body closer, a gentle nudge here and there, and a knee that is pressed firmly against Zolf's own. Wilde is radiant in his comfort, the flamboyant flairs gone instead to be replaced by an aura of contentment. 

Zolf notices every tiny new change and pretends not to, not out of wilful ignorance but out of sheer delight. They don't need to make a big deal of it; he doesn't need to point out the changes, but instead let them settle into his heart where he can keep them safe, and they in turn can provide him warmth and comfort. They sit there, like tiny bright spots in an otherwise bleak world, and he watches, with a happiness that swells in his chest until it almost chokes him, as Wilde throws his head back and laughs at something Hamid has said; a laugh of pure and unadulterated joy from a man able to take a moment to relax and breathe easy for the first time in years.

There's something finally blooming between them after months of feigned ignorance, and while the shape of it is unknown, the depth of it is beautiful, and Zolf feels it resonating deep in his very soul every time he notices that which he pretends not to.  
It doesn't matter that it's undefined, because it is theirs and it is precious. It is new and old at the same time; it is warmth, it is comfort, it is the feeling of coming home, and it is a shift in the world that suddenly makes everything slot into place. Wilde turns to look at him, the smile on his face so bright and _real_ , that Zolf is momentarily stunned, and then realises that from now on, as long as they are together, he is home.

The changes that death has wrought in him are subtle, but combined they put together a Wilde that is more real and more beautiful than any version of him that Zolf has encountered before. He's seen glimpses of this man previously during their eighteen months together, and he feels a rare surge of pride as he watches Wilde, who finally seems comfortable enough in his own skin, share that side of himself with others.

Wilde may be wearing more muted clothing, but Zolf thinks he has never shone brighter.

**Author's Note:**

> dont look at me im soft
> 
> as always, <3 to u for reading!


End file.
